Saamba

Hello World.

Don't bother reading any of this. It's drivel.

Where my bitches at? Right here... coding the HTML to match the colors of a BCBG Max Azria shopping bag she picked up in Connecticut. We be classy - and the diary needs to reflect this classyness.

Oh, we didn't actually BUY anything at BCBG, that shit's expensive. Made off with a bag though, and a year and a half later dragged its sorry carcass out of the back of a closet so crammed full of shoes we could actually hear the words "Consumer Society" bellow from the heavens as she opened the door and the closet barfed onto the floor. Now the bag sits crinkled next to the computer as some concoction called a "Bartlett Pear Sangria" stews in the kitchen, waiting for us to refresh ourselves with it on this beautiful friday spring evening.

But the sangria isn't done yet, according to Cosmopolitan magazine, which is apparently an absolute authority on everything. I should know, because I am a guy who reads the back-issues my girlfriend leaves in the bathroom.

And I am a guy who, having just read everything I just wrote above, feels really gay.

My girlfriend and I stumbled across this diary site thingy after musing the hilarity that is the life of PorkTornado...I would have made that a proper link to his stuff but at the moment I am HTML retarded. Wait till the sangria is ready.

My girlfriend is the real writer here, and apparently head-of-household, so we agreed that we would create a joint-diary. Kinda like a joint checking account, so this is a big move for us. Give me another two years and maybe I will let her sleep over.

I don't even know if we are allowed to share a diary... it could be against the Diaryland Rules or something, and that maybe the Diaryland Police will be visiting us tomorrow morning and go all non-linear on us. The Diaryland Police don't sound very threatening, but when you are recovering from drinking a whole pitcher full of some recipe you got out of a fashion magazine, you probably aren't that tough either.

The reason for the joint diary is because... well, we just thought of it and it sounded funny at the time. But now that I have to come up with a reason to justify this, it is partially because we have always wanted to write online movie reviews. "OH, THAT'S VERY INTERESTING." you say. "WHY DON'T YOU DO SOMETHING ORIGINAL, LIKE WRITE ONLINE ADULT MOVIE REVIEWS??"

Ok, fine. We will.

It just so happens that we think there is a need for such a thing. A few weeks ago we figured that the two of us can't possibly be supporting the two adult video rental stores in town all by ourselves just from our measly 2 or 3 movie a week habit. Sooooo... we reasoned that there must be OTHER people who watch them too. And, if these other people are like all BCBG Max Azria classy like us, then they are probably all annoyed with the fact that it is really hard to find good quality video smut that doesn't involve being the manager of a Hooter's or my friend Mark.

So, among other things, like creative writing and diluting my manhood with sangria recipes, we thought it would be good to start reviewing the movies we watch and trying to pass this all-important knowledge on to others so that they don't waste their time renting a movie only to find that the sound quality sucks and the "girl" pictured on the cover has rather masculine hands for some reason.

There will probably be other things we will write about, but I figure the whole adult movie thing will at least keep me interested enough to keep it going. Be patient with us though, as we are still learning how to use this mystical HTML dialect, and sometimes you have to watch a movie many, many, many times to really understand it.

Hmmm...sangria ain't too bad. I guess Cosmo really does know their stuff after all, and they don't even review pornos. Go figure.

Happy Friday.

0 wrote to say im an idiot.