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Just in case you hadn't heard, two inmates from a Tennessee jail escaped recently to go buy some beer, and they returned to jail to drink it. Apparently, the prisons in Tennessee must be really nice, because I have never heard of anyone doing that before. Breaking back-into jail. Either the jails there are really nice, or the rest of the state of Tennessee really sucks, because the inmates seem to think they were better off inside.

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This would be a funny enough story by itself, but later that same night they broke out again. Apparently they didn't buy enough beer the first time so two different guys collected money and went on a second run to get more. They only took orders for beer, and no one requested any bolt-cutters or nail-files or hand guns, which was awfully nice of them. And when they got to the store, they didn't rob the place or steal the beer......they stood in line and bought it. I would love to know what brand of beer they picked - it could be a hilarious advertising campaign: "I'd break outta prison for a Pabst Blue Ribbon."

And it occured to me that they never actually had to buy the beer. They could have robbed the store, grabbed whatever they wanted and snuck back into jail. Who would've known? They wouldn't be suspects because they had the perfect alibi during the time of the robbery - they were in jail. And if the prosecutors try to argue that you somehow broke out of jail and robbed a grocery store, you could just say "Then why would I have snuck back in?" Try getting a jury to believe anyone would do that.

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And it's all the jail's fault. Some idiot left the cell doors open and faulty security equipment failed to alert the idiots in charge that they were running a frat house. They apparently left the doors open long enough that the inmates finally said "Aww, shucks. Why don't we go out and get some beer while we wait for them to fix the doors?" The doors were still open after they returned and finished a case of beer, so they went out again. This time, the store they went to was closed, so they had to walk even further to a different one. The fire door that they kept sneaking in and out through didn't trigger any alarms or beeps or flashy little lights in the control room. The hinges probably didn't even squeak. The last line of defense - the bright orange jump suits which say "ESCAPED PRISONER" on them, didn't catch anybody's attention at the grocery stores because they weren't wearing them. Why weren't they wearing them, you ask? The jail didn't have enough for all the prisoners, so these guys were wearing plain clothes. Pretty resourceful, those prisoners.

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The best part about it is that when they left the jail, they propped a fire door open with a bible so they could sneak back in. They knew they were coming back. It was premeditated. And to reward these guys for their honesty, they are being charged with escape and bringing alcohol into a jail. Or, as a warden would say, "introduction of intoxicants into a penal institution" which is just a fancy way of saying "This didn't make us look good." The irony kills me. If they had broken out of jail and drank beer without coming back, they would have avoided half the charges against them. What would the charge have been if they had walked around the side of the building and knocked on a window to say "Hey....you guys left the doors open back here." Charge them with Trespassing?? Moral of the story is - if you break outta jail, don't come back. Especially if you are drinking beer.

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I don't know about you, but when I get drunk, I come up with some pretty stupid ideas. Stupid ideas like "Hey guys! Lets not go back to prison!"

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The warden should count his lucky stars that the cell doors which malfunctioned didn't belong to more hardened criminals like axe murderers. Then they would have simply killed the checkout clerks instead of paying for the beer they were bringing back.� How about charging the slackers running the Hawkins County Jail with two counts of "allowing the introduction of intoxicants into a penal institution", four counts of "aiding and abetting a criminal in the unlawful escape from a correctional facility" and one count of "Cheap-skate slumlord fuck-tard"?

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To Ridgy Dean Coleman, Jimmy Joe Stapleton, David Wayne Blizzard and David Allen Hopkins - this Bud's for you.

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(Unless, of course, you are child molesters - then you get the PBR.)

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0 wrote to say im an idiot.