Saamba

sunday night: cleveland amory (founder of the fund for animals, writer, proper bostonain, and generally someone i�ve always looked up to in a �curmudgeonly old man, caring for animals� kind of way) summed it up best in his book �the cat who came for christmas.� he basically said there are two ways of dealing with being sick � he and his cat, polar bear, are the examples of these ways. when polar bear got sick, he would hole himself up under the bed, and avoid all human contact � he didn�t want to be fussed with, or looked after, or bothered until he was feeling well again. on the other side of the coin, mr. amory, at the slightest indication of a cold, expected all friends and family to line up at the foot of his bed and listen to his words of wisdom, one last time, before he died.

i am a cleveland amory when i am sick. if i get a cold, i have actually contracted sars. when i went to the doctor last monday and found out i had bronchitis, i was on my deathbed as far as i was concerned. it was fun.

for the record, up until yesterday, i was still pretty sure i had actually contracted some strange form of respiratory infection that until me, had only been seen in birds or small furry mammals. fortunately, yesterday it started to break and i�m finally coming to the realization i did only have bronchitis, i have survived, and will live to see my cat turn 6. yea.

so, i actually started writing an entry friday, but fell asleep while i was doing it. i thought i would include it anyway (as it is always amusing to go back and read something you have written while on heavy medication). if the learning channel is not for you, go to the bottom, it is more i wrote today, on everybody�s favorite subject, contraceptives.

friday: wow. so this week has been fun. i�ve managed to miss all but six hours at the office (okay, normally that WOULD be fun, but not this time)� three hours before a doctors appointment tuesday, three thursday since i was too stubborn to stay home. i was basically told to return to my den of sick and hack up my lungs in private. they care about me so�

yep. i have bronchitis. go me. walking up a flight of stairs is suddenly equivalent to running a marathon (and i�ve practically died after walking a 5k). mmm, life is good. i�m tempted to go to the emergency room and beg them to poke a hole in me and drain my lungs, i think that is the only thing that could help right now. is that something they can do??? cause if it is, count me in.

(note to self, stop smoking you asthmatic allergic f*cktard, because stuff like this happens� if you didn�t smoke, it would be all sore throat, cold, nyquil, happy healthy, not this miserable blah, kill me, kill me, no sex life, unattractive, snot-filled-lung self!!!)

so, yeah. four days of not leaving bed, but for a few brief moments. i have officially od�d on the learning channel. i think i have been using this time to get in touch with my girly-girly self. so in honor of being sick, and od�ing on tlc, i thought i would do another things i�ve learned entry � tlc style.

a makeover story

even broadway stars need fashion help � something about knowing the star of thoroughly modern millie (who has won best actress awards, whatnot) needed someone to tell her how to dress made me feel better about myself. while i may need serious help with hair and makeup, I�d like to think my clothing style is kinda snapppy (apparently it is so snappy it needed three p�s, wow!).

a baby story

babies look rather alien-like when they�re born.

babies equal pain, lots and lots of pain and discomfort.

angelina jolie has the right idea, i�m adopting, from cambodia� wait. you can�t adopt from cambodia anymore? oops. hmm, cats it is for me!

a wedding story

i bawl like a baby at other peoples weddings, on tv. i am going to be the biggest manic mess at my own.

perfect proposal

even the cheesy ones make me cry. except that whole �she considers herself a princess, i�m going to call her princess for the first time thing.� i�m sorry honey, but you�re 20-something, the princess thing should�ve ended when you were 6.

trading spaces

barry gives syracuse school of architecture graduates a bad name.

if the homeowners say they don�t like a color, or theme, that is not carte blanche to do their entire room in said color or theme. it is not your personal challenge to make them like something they have despised their entire life.

commercials

i�m stragely amused by the skunk mascot for the new discovery kids show, skunked. my brain is turning to mush. i can feel it.

back to sunday: so, if that sucked, blame it on the drugs they had me on, they were mean little pills.

thanks to those fun drugs however, we are now forced to rely on an alternate form of birth control this month, now that i am not a wheezing, hacking miserable mess (damn antibiotics). i'm not overly thrilled by that, but i want no anklebiters, not any time soon at least. yesterday i took a trip to cvs and during this trip i found something to be quite curious. i walked in and followed the little aisle sign that said �family planning.� family planning? um, no. if i was planning for a family, i would not be coming to this section, would i? if anything, isn�t it the exact opposite, the �family avoidance� section? after all, it is filled with condoms, spermicide, female condoms, etc. none of which are for planning a family as far as i can tell. and if you ARE using them for that, i think you might need to read your biology textbook again.

p.s. in honor of national punctuation day, i will capatalize when i go to work tomorrow. (i should explain that i�ve had a strange capitalization quirk ever since i started writing for a living. it isn�t that i hate capitalization, in fact, i do it all the time at the office. i guess not capitalizing when i write for leisure is my way of keeping work and pleasure separate.

pps-mucho grande thanks to mimseylou for convincing me to get the interpol album. i do love it! thank you so very much. and stella is a great name for a pug!

0 wrote to say im an idiot.